My forever sister, Ginger Dee Clinton

I only became a part of the blogging world like a week ago because I finally have the Internet at home, and now I have reached the daunting task of having to write about my sister, Ginger. I have so many things I could say, but at the same time I can't really find the words to express what I really feel, but I have to try.
It's been a little over 2 months since that Sunday (just 3 days after we arrived in Virginia) that I got the call from my brother, Rod, giving me the news that Ginger passed away in her sleep that morning. Due to a rare heart condition, her heart kind of hiccuped and then stopped; she was only 31 years old, still so young and healthy and vibrant. Sorrow and pain have never come so intensely in my life, but my family has also been flooded with blessings of comfort and tender mercies from our loving Heavenly Father.
I've known all along that I needed to just sit down and write all of my thoughts... the sadness I've felt, the joy I have, and my memories of my wonderful sister, Ginger.

Ginger is 4 years older than I am, with Amber between us in our family. I can remember Ginger being one to help me learn how to ride a bike when I was little. She also taught me (and our other little siblings) how to do a backflip on the trampoline, which shows she had a lot of patience... and skill. She would "spot" us and swing our legs up so that we didn't break our necks. We'd sleep on the trampoline on warm summer nights looking at all of the stars, trying to find constellations, and talking until late. Ginger loved to give me "dead arms and legs," an important trait that we all kind of learned in the family; she knew right where to hit me to make a bump immediately arise and then dissappear after a few seconds. It hurt really bad, but most of time we would just laugh about it. She also loved to come up behind us when our knees were locked and use her knees to make ours collapse. I remember Ginger reading a lot, which was probably partially why she was so smart and interesting to talk to. She mastered the art of sunflower seeds... and the rubik's cube. :) We had a lot of fun growing up; we played Mormon Bridge to the music of The Carpenters... doing funny dances Ginger would come up to go with the music. We went out to our favorite little Mexican restaurant, Lalo's, a lot.

I remember always being so proud that Ginger was my sister. We were in a K-8 school, and when she was in 8th grade, she was president of the school, captain of the cheerleading squad, Alice in the big production of Alice in Wonderland, and even knew how to do her hair with huge bangs the stylish way it was to do it. Everyone loved her; she had this fun, confident, and friendly personality. I loved being around her; I looked up to her a lot. She didn't mind when I would tag-along; she always made me feel welcome and loved.

I remember that when she went into high school, it seemed like she lost a lot of her "popularness;" while most of her friends from earlier years changed and got into the wrong crowd, Ginger clung to new friends (like Melinda Barlow) who had the same high standards she did. She knew who she was and I know people really respected her for her values. I am so thankful for Ginger's example of sticking with doing what was right rather than what would have kept her in the "cool" crowd.

Ginger was a fast driver (another Z-girl trait we learned from Mom)... dangerous, but somehow in control (I don't think Ginger ever got in an accident, but I know she had a few speeding tickets). She was always fun to go places with, listening and singing along to fun (and loud) music; I remember one time I was freezing cold in her car, so she said, "Let's have a freeze-out!" (apparently something she just made up right on the spot) So she rolled down the windows (and it was cold outside) and she turned on the A/C. I remember we were FREEZING, but laughing and laughing. She liked it so much that when it was hot outside, she would do "Burn-outs!"...windows up, heater on full blast. We would be melting... but it was fun.

One of my favorite memories with Ginger was when she was in college and I was in high school. She told me about this new policy they had going on over at Albertson's (grocery store) called "Fresh or Free." If you found something out of date, you got a fresh one free! She had tried it a couple of times with one item and it worked, so she was ready to get a shopping cart full. ...So Ginger and I decided to go one day and look and search for whatever we could find that was out of date... I know we only found a few things, but I can only remember the carrot juice (which I was definitely not thrilled about... but it was free!), so we took it all up (the expired items and their fresh counterpart) to the Customer Service desk. I felt kind of silly, but Ginger was full confidence. Of course it had to be the store manager who helped us and made us feel sooooo ashamed for what we were doing. He told us how we were making people lose their Christmas bonuses because we were finding things out of date in their sections. I was soooo embarrassed, and I knew Ginger was kind of too, but she just kind of smiled and shrugged like, "well, that's the policy" (I think Ginge knew he was just trying to scare us). He apparently could tell that Ginger (and I... of course) were holding our ground, so he told us that he was going to put us in their next Albertson's newsletter thingy with our picture in it and call us the "Fresh or Free bandits." We both laughed and then he went and got a camera... and he took a picture of us (we were both beet red and cracking up). We left with our free stuff in hand... and laughing (with embarassment). That was the definitly the end of our "fresh or free" career.

During her college years, Ginger often included me in things she did... babysitting, shopping, hanging out with friends, etc, etc. We always had a lot of fun. I remember a lot of boys liked her; how could they not? She was cute, fun, down to earth, and super nice. She dated a lot of guys, but was never the "player" kind.

I can remember Ginger coming home from one of her classes at Moorpark College and telling me all about this cute (she probably said "hottie") guy who had gotten up in class (they all had to) and shared about himself and how he really valued honesty... that he was an honest person. Ginger was very impressed with him, and his good looks helped, too. After discovering that he was one of my dad's patients and a member of the Church, they became friends and started dating. I always loved Jason for Ginger; they went so well together and were always laughing and having a great time together. It was always evident how much Jason loved Ginger and wanted to marry her; he was not going to let her get away! Ginger's love for him was also an integral part of who she was. In their marriage they were the best of friends and treated each other so well. My sister, Wendy, lived with them for a summer and said that never once did she hear or see anything but love and respect toward each other. Just a few days before Ginger passed away, Jason and Ginger spent a day serving in the temple; so wonderful that one of their last days together on the earth was spent there.

About 6 months before Ginger passed away, Jason was laid off from his job. Ginger encouraged him to not worry about getting a new job for a little while... to just have some fun family time together for a while, which they did all that time before she passed away... a wonderful tender mercy from Heavenly Father.

Jason has been amazing through all of this; I can't possibly comprehend what he's going through right now, but he is a strong man; Wendy, my sister, who is helping out Jason and the kids right now (another tender mercy), says that he is such a good father... that even though it's hard, he never takes it out on the kids and is very understanding of what they must be going through right now. He's amazing. I know Ginger is cheering for him every step of the way, and it's going to be a glorious reunion when they're together again.

They built a beautiful family together... with Erin (just turned 8), Jenna (6), Brady(3), and Holly (1). Ginger was an amazing mother... always playing with her kids and interested in what they were doing, letting them explore things and learn, instilling in them independence and a love for life and people. She was so good at explaining things to them and encouraging their curiosity, and most importantly, she taught them the gospel of Jesus Christ. Her children have handled her death amazingly well, because they have firm testimonies of the Plan of Salvation and know that this separation is only temporary; what a blessing that she taught them so well something they would have to be tested in so young and so directly. The night before Ginger died, she passed up the opportunity to go out and get a babysitter for her kids. Instead she stayed home, gave her children baths and tucked them into bed, answering Erin's questions about what Heaven is like... "the most beautiful and wonderful place you could ever imagine, etc." She loved and adored her children, and she created so many happy memories for them... and they loved her.
Going through some things after her passing, we came upon this message to her daughters... a note in case an emergency were to happen while they were at school. So beautiful.

When I became a new mother, I would often call Ginger with questions or concerns about motherhood life and she was always soooo refreshing to talk to, because she was so understanding and real. She didn't make herself out to be this "perfect mom" with all the answers, but she would share things with me that made me feel so validated and normal. She wouldn't hide her struggles or shortcomings as a mother... rather, she'd tell me about things candidly and laugh at herself. She cared about things a lot, but also had a knack for being able to be carefree at the right times and just let things go.

Ginger always made me feel loved and special... she made everyone feel that way. A couple of days before mine and Clint's wedding, she treated me to a pedicure; she didn't get one herself--she just sat, smiled (I'm sure because she felt bad for the lady doing it), and watched my feet get chizzled and sanded down to near perfection... just kidding, that's not really possible with my feet. And when I was expecting our first baby, she took me on a "maternity shopping spree;" it made me feel so good that it was important to her that I felt comfortable and good about myself while I was big and prego. She was always so generous; it seemed like every time I came in town, she would give me some new cute kid clothes or shoes she bought when she was shopping for her kids... so thoughtful and kind. I love putting those cute clothes on my kids, especially now, and I always tell them, "Aunt Ginger gave you this."

When something new or exciting or difficult was going on in my life, Ginger not only knew about it and supported me in it, but she cared about all the little details about it and would somehow remember them all... and she actively did things to show her support and love for me. One of the first things that came to my mind when she passed away was, "who is going to be my personal cheerleader now?...everyone's personal cheerleader?" She was always there for important things and always genuinely interested. She was an incredible listener with a talent for understanding and unconditional love. The wonderful thing is I still feel like she's my personal cheerleader... even way out here in Virginia. Often I get excited about something and think, I want to call Ginge and tell her about it. Then I remember that I can't, but I know she's still very much a part of our lives... and she's doing great things on the other side of the veil that only she can do; I know her joy is full, and that she wants ours to be as well... just like she always did.

It is so hard being separated from Ginger right now, but I know it was her time to go. It was such a blessing that all of our family were able to be together so much this last year... Grammie's funeral, Girl's Weekend, the Beach house reunion, Amber's wedding, Paige's baby blessing, etc; we've had an especially full year together, and that has brought a lot of comfort to all of us. I miss her tremendously and I ache for her Jason and her dear children, but what a blessing it is to know that families can be together forever. Ginger lived a beautiful and exemplary life, so the greatest blessings of Heaven are hers; what a comfort! I know that Heavenly Father loves us, and that He knows what is best for all of us. I also know that our sorrow is also His sorrow, but He looks forward to blessing us if we just trust Him.

A couple of weeks after Ginger passed away, I had a dream that I was following Ginger up the circular staircase in my parent's home. Ginger was talking to me just like she normally would, and all I could think was, "Ginger's right here; I have to give her a hug while I have the chance!" But I wondered if I would be able to hug her since she was only a spirit now, but I had to at least try, so when Ginge and I got to the top of the stairs, I stopped her and said, "Ginge, can I give you a hug?" Of course she said, "yes," and we hugged just like we did while she was living, and I could feel her. It was one of her normal long and tight squeezes; I told her that I loved her and thanked her for being such a wonderful sister. I can't remember anything after that, but I woke up that morning feeling so happy and at peace with everything; it was so comforting and healing.
Ginger was more than I could ask for in a sister; I love her and am forever changed by her love and goodness.

I love you, Ginge! You're amazing, and I look forward to basking in your beautiful presence again!

You can visit Ginger and Jason's blog... http://jasondgingerd.blogspot.com/. She updated her blog a bunch just a couple of days before she passed away; her last post was titled, "happiness."